I’ve been watching football ever since I can remember, and I love it. I think it’s easily the best spectator sport.

When I was growing up the Chiefs were my favorite team in the AFC and the 49ers were my favorite team in the NFC.  I loved the Chiefs because they were local and featured defensive terrors Derrick Thomas (travesty he’s not in the Pro Football Hall of Fame) and Neil Smith.  I loved the 49ers because they had Joe Montana, who seemed to engineer a comeback touchdown drive every time I watched (See “The Catch“).  I was young at the time, maybe five or six years old, but I knew something good when I saw it.  And Joe Montana was great.  Coolest quarterback under pressure ever.  And, in my opinion, the best quarterback of all time.  But he wasn’t invincible, as I might have believed at the age of 6.  He injured his arm in the NFC Championship game in 1991, and Steve Young play brilliantly the next year as Montana recovered.  Steve Young ended up winning the starting job in San Francisco.  And then, BAM.  Joe Montana traded to the Chiefs.

2.  The Chiefs were legitimate Super Bowl contenders.  Joe Montana, plus the addition of Marcus Allen, and an already outstanding defense meant the Chiefs were going to be good.

3. Favorite Quarterback + Favorite Team = Chiefs had won the battle for my football affection for life.

And what a mistake that turned out to be.  Don’t get me wrong, the Chiefs have had some great seasons. That Chiefs team with Montana at the helm went to the AFC Championship Game.  They went 13-3 in 1995, 1997, and 2003.  They developed an amazing offense under Dick Vermeil.  Priest Holmes made going into the end zone sideways cool.

But we haven’t won a playoff game since Joe.  Lin Elliot can’t show his face in Kansas City after missing three field goals against the Colts in 1996 (See #2) and the defense in 2003 couldn’t stop a car with a stop sign (See Weaknesses).  The team crawled into the playoffs in 2006 but it was a foregone conclusion that they would bow out to Peyton Manning and the Colts.  As for 2007? Larry Johnson held out.  The Chiefs paid him. He got hurt, which seems to happen to any player that holds out.  That, or they suck after they get the contract.  By the way, Larry sucked until he got hurt.  The Chiefs finished strong, losing nine straight to finish 4-12.

Thanks and praise to GM Hot Carl Peterson (Now in year 19 of his 5-year plan to get the Chiefs to the Super Bowl.  The U.S government expects more from experimental military contracts).

Yeah, they cheated. Spygate turned a lot of people against the Patriots, and it bothers me some too.  But at the same time, I bet the Chiefs were doing this for the Broncos before the Pats got caught…  Actually, I take that back.  There is no way the Chiefs were doing this for games.  First, they haven’t been prepared for games since Vermeil left.  Cheating would violate that team philosophy.  Second, they would have been caught.  Everyone that works for the Chiefs is an idiot.  So basically, I don’t like cheating.  But at least they won after doing it.  The Chiefs would have cheated, lost the game, got caught, and forfeited their top 5 pick.  So, yeah.  Could be worse I guess.

NFL teams carry 53 players, 8 of which are on the practice squad and can’t play.  That leaves 45 spots on the roster.  Carrying a third quarterback is wasting a precious spot on that 45-man limit.  If I were running an NFL franchise, I would carry an extra defensive player.  Specifically, a defensive player that excelled in special teams.

Let’s think about it.  Who is more likely to impact a game?  A 6′4” 250, angry, angry man who’s only ambition is to tear the kick returners spleen from his body, force a fumble, and return both the fumble and the spleen for a touchdown?  Or Tyler Thigpen, picking lint off his jersey and staring at his playbook hoping somebody comes to talk to him like he’s part of the team?  I’ll take the angry man. He’ll turn the game for the better far more often than the third string quarterback.  He might also be decent at (gasp) his natural position at LB and can help the team on regular downs.

The opposing argument is that you have to have somebody competent at quarterback, as it is the most important position on the field.  I agree that it is the most important position on the field.  My contention is that it’s an extreme stretch to call that third-stringer “competent,” and if you’re on your third quarterback you’re probably losing anyway.  Also, there is probably a guy on your roster that can play emergency quarterback in some bizarre circumstance where the first two quarterbacks go down.

Going into Week 1, the Chiefs were bringing three gunslingers: Croyle, Huard, and Thigpen (after Week 2, Thigpen’s status as a gunslinger is under review).  The Patriots had Brady, Cassel, and Kevin O’Connell.  The starters go down.  Cassel and Huard play admirably.  Huard should really, really be starting.  The Patriots win. No emergency quarterbacks needed.

Fast forward to week two.  Cassel shines in a win.  One quarterback used.  My point is supported.  The Chiefs play three quarterbacks (Huard, Thigpen, and Marques “Average in College” Hagans.  They lose in an epic battle of ineptitude to the Raiders.  THREE QUARTERBACKS??  THEORY BE DAMNED???

Not really.  In using three quarterbacks, I think the Chiefs proved my point.  First-stringer Huard (sounds nice) was “hurt” / benched so that there is no quarterback controversy.  Under my two-quarterback system the Chiefs only would have had one more quarterback on the roster, Thigpen.  They played two, Thigpen and Hagans… wait, he’s a backup wide receiver who was a college quarterback!

Thigpen didn’t get hurt.  He could have played some of the worst football I’ve ever seen without any assistance.  He didn’t need Marques Hagans to play the other portion of the worst football I’ve ever seen.  But the Chiefs played Hagans anyway.  This suggests to me that Thigpen isn’t that much better than any decent former college quarterback.  NFL rosters are littered with those.  Also, we lost.  We would have lost with either.  Thank you Herm Edwards. You, sir, have made my point.  Now go find a way to get fired so we can hire Bill Cowher.

For visual effect, compare the following:

Would you rather have the guy on the far left playing once every ten years, or Brendon Ayanbadejo, who plays every game and went to the Pro Bowl twice as a special teams player?

Would you rather have this guy or a guy doing this?

Okay, Keanu is a stretch.  It’s also a stretch to say anybody could get there own Ayanbadejo, who is the best special teams player in the league.  But there are guys out there who can make plays like him, and I want the Chiefs to have one.

In truth, I think that it’s a matter of fear in coaching/managing.  These guys are terminally afraid of getting fired.  Doing something different, even if it gives you more of a chance of winning, might get you canned if it doesn’t work.  Give me the coach that tries everything to win and gets blown out by 30 when his plan fails, and you can keep your guy that coaches like a sissy, loses by 14, and never had a chance.

Squirmin’ Herman Edwards ought to take his own advice: YOU PLAY.. TO WIN.. THE GAME!