Hey, other guy playing Demoman. What’s up? I couldn’t help but notice that we’re both playing the same character class. Neat! We should probably be internet friends now. I just wondered if you could spare a moment to come over behind this big rock and discuss your performance these last few rounds. Oh, you can? Great!
Continue reading ‘Attn: The Other Guy Playing Demo. We Should Chat.’
Anyone with an x-box, a game on Steam, WoW, and now even a flash enabled browser probably knows what the hell an “achievement” is. Let’s break down what they are and how to make your own to create wildly popular and addictive games based on meaningless reward structures!
Continue reading ‘Making Achieving Achievable by Everyone Who Can Achieve.’
I have played about 10 - 15 hours of Fallout 3 over the last week. Don’t ask me where I got it already, you should know the answer to that question.
Now, I haven’t played the game nearly enough to even begin to give a full-fledged review (I’ve barely begun to scratch the surface of the single-player plot), but I wanted to spend some time and comment on something that I think hasn’t gotten nearly enough traction on other gaming sites: just how similar Fallout 3 and Oblivion feel. Continue reading ‘Fallout 3: Oblivion Re-Dux?’
Dammit.
My rant on Halo 3: Recon is still fresh on my fingertips and already I find my fingers typing venom at Blizzard’s announcement that StarCraft II is going to be three games instead of one. Obligatory personal color / backstory paragraphs (only two, I swear) before we get to the meat:
StarCraft is the shit. Easily ranks in my (hell, most people’s) top five games. I’ve replayed it within 
the past year, because I love it so. WarCraft and its first sequel were good games, but they never hit me with “great”. StarCraft did. The characters were more formed, the universe more inventive, and the play more epic. And for the past decade I’ve waited for the day that Jim Raynor could slit the Queen of Blades’ throat– so the announcement of StarCraft II was seen by me as a good thing… save my increasing distrust of Blizzard.
Continue reading ‘StarCraft II: Trilogy or “I’ve never met an announcement I couldn’t bitch about”’
The Internet conversation on the announcement of “Halo 3: Recon” is a noisy one. Halo is a title that has such a strong following that it put an entire company worth of platforms on the map. There would be no Xbox 360 had Halo not happened, and now, in the vein of Mario beforehand, questions as to what is an acceptable use of the characters is a growing debate. My own opinion is rather negative.
Continue reading ‘The Prequel-Sequel Games Just Didn’t Need’
The ESRB is a mess and there are very few people that dispute that. When it comes to any form of media entertainment, it all comes down to the maturity of the consumer as to what they allow themselves to take from the product. I, personally, can play days worth of Grand Theft Auto without ever stealing a car or pimp-slapping my wife, and while I may speed a little, I’ve always stopped before involving a S.W.A.T. team. But it isn’t just the “Mature” titles that can have a possible adverse effect on the player, but the innocent “E” or “Everyone” titles. Don’t believe me?
If any of you are like me, and I know I am, then you sometimes find yourself bored with the current fare of video games. In these times I look to my older game collections to provide me with boredom relief. Since this time I didn’t feel like reinstalling Doom 3, and upon remembering that I have a PS2, I took a trip to my local used game store and picked up the PS2 copy of “Black“.
There were many reasons for this purchase. The first being the game was recommended to me by a friend. Second, the cover on the game was this:
Oh HELL yes!
Third, for those that don’t know me, The Rock is possibly one of my favorite action movies of all time. The prison shower scene (wow that sounds bad…) with Michael Beihn screaming at Ed Harris that he’ll shoot all over the place if necessary (that sounds even worse) is a fantastic over the top action sequence complete with emotionally charged military phrases (I WILL NOT GIVE THAT ORDER!) to half of the bullets not hitting anybody, but instead creating massive collateral damage to some tile and grout. Continue reading ‘Once you go Black’
There are so many games coming out this fall that I’m continuously amazed by what’s coming out– there’s just so much that it’s impossible to keep up. As such, today’s Penny Arcade comic made zero sense to me at first glance. I knew they were obviously mocking a game, but how many games have guys in giant space marine suits these days? Lots.
While I may not get around to buying as many games as I’d like, I do play demos as if they were my primary form of entertainment. And why not? In a world where the trailer is so often better than the movie, why not enjoy a slice of a game that is developed with the sole purpose of making you feel okay about losing fifty bucks? I mean, I enjoyed the Too Human demo for the first five minutes of whizzing around the battlefield to wherever my thumb pleased, although I would never waste the time or money to play the wretched beast.
Welcome to Pirate Groups 101! I’m your professor, Mr. Dent. If you’re looking for “Beer and Wine Tasting 306″, you’re in the wrong room, although I will be hosting an advanced level of the course in about an hour, when this class is over, with the rather young and attractive woman sitting in the front row. Yes, you. You’re cute. See me after class.
Well, if you’re attending this class, you’ve probably at least heard a few of the “buzzwords” of the pirate industry thrown around. “Warez”, “crackz”, “phreaking”, “zero-day”, “release groups”. But, you probably have no idea how that pirated copy of Spore that you downloaded off of The Pirate Bay (purely to avoid the DRM, yes, I understand), got from wherever the heck onto your shitty Dell laptop. Yeah, you, Alpha Beta Whatever, I see that smirk, put the goddamned computer away while I’m talking. Asshole.
Continue reading ‘Pirate Groups 101: A course in ineffective warez releases’
Grant Dent has weighed in his lofty pirate anger, but we have yet to produce a word on the actual content of the new Will Wright game. Allow my title to produce our very first: “Okay”.
Aside to my writing partner-in-crime; Mr. Dent, you cannot read this article any further, for you still have to make your own review. BWAHAHAHA (as if I’m in charge around here… I couldn’t program even this simple a Word Press website if my life depended on it)!
This game is apparently a big fucking deal, or so National Geographic tells me. I don’t actually subscribe to National Geographic, nor do I worship at the altar of The Sims enough to have paid ten dollars in advance to essentially create worthless game skins. So, when I first installed the game (without concern as to the greater DRM reckoning that has blown across the landscape of the Internet), I went in with the understanding that I would be playing from a single-cell organism all the way to a space-fairing civilization, and little else.
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