Welcome to the inaugural post of what will be my regular contribution to the site. I will admit up front that I am actually quite lazy and the regularity of this column may one day turn to irregularity. I will now pause as I reflect on how much that last sentence sounds like a Metamucil commercial.

Ok, moving on. I have very few perks when it comes to movies these days. Once upon a time I suffered beneath a vest and bow tie to see free movies in the theater and eat all the popcorn I could handle. I’ve always envied the professional critic who not only gets paid to watch movies but also gets paid to watch them waaaaay before I do. I will pause yet again to shake my fist at the sky for such an injustice. These days I manage a video store part time and have access to most DVDs a few days before they hit shelves on each highly anticipated New Release Tuesday. This is the singular, although minor advantage. The down side is the frequency of this conversation,

Customer: “Do you have this [customer holds up something featuring Larry the Cable Guy] in full screen?”

Angry Me: “No.”

Disappointed Customer: “Oh. I like the full screen.”

Condescending Me: “You know wide screen preserves the original theatrical image right?”

Customer in natural state: “Huh?”

Me doing my best impression of customer: “Um…you see the whole picture with the widescreen.”

Customer: “Isn’t widescreen the one where it cuts the top off the scre…”

Me: “No. No it’s not. Here’s a chart.”

At this point I hand the customer a chart that demonstrates not only their ignorance but also the glory of the widescreen format.

Now, since I’m not the type to dwell too long on the negative, I thought I would use the small advantage (whew – almost typed “small perk” there – close one) I have to send the occasional DVD review your way. I’m calling it “Why Tuesday is the Best Day of All the Days” (unless, I think of something cool). Here’s the first one…

SPEED RACER

Continue reading ‘Why You Should Try Speed.’