A Weekend at the Movies-- Praying, Pilgriming, and Expending
So I went for the hat-trick this past weekend for the first time in a long time (harder to do when the movies aren’t free). I’m going to give a rare spoiler-free round up on the flicks, so read on without fear.
“Eat, Pray, Love” is not a quirky comedy. It’s a lumbering reflection film that easy to enjoy but impossible with which to relate. Julia Roberts’ Liz is going through a rough patch in her life—except it isn’t all that rough. When most of us are feeling listless, we can’t take off for a year and travel the world eating expensive food or bumming on the beach. Further sickening is the realization that this is allegedly based on actual events. Beyond this the film is a running narrative with no real structure outside of following the title’s chronology (face-stuffing, meditating, screwing), so characters outside of Liz really don’t have arcs, but cameos. All of this may sound like the film was awful, but the picture is well-shot, contains an interesting supporting cast, and in no way is the unholy mindless “chick flick” some are afraid of it being. That said you have to be rich to fully enjoy it, so allow me to say it probably isn’t worth the price of admission.
“The Expendables” is Sly Stallone coming off of a hot streak of returns to his famous properties to give something else “for the fans”. The film is a straight-up 1980’s action flick with no surprises, but plenty of delights. Particularly Jason Statham and Jet Li (who are great to see back together post-“War”) are loads of fun, but there isn’t a weak link in the cast. Want to see some dudes kick some asses? There is plenty of that on display. And not surprising to anyone familiar with the larger bodies of work (pun to be avoided) of these men is the spine-tingling acting on display. If I had any real complaint it would be that Stallone has proven he is a better writer than he shows here and the decision to use digital blood throughout the picture is baffling. But while the writer/director/star lacks in story, he deserves a tip of the hat for his ability to make men say things that other men wish they were witty enough to say. There is a plethora of delightful, crowd-pleasing one-liners throughout the flick, and I can honestly say that if Stallone could come up with a real tale for the already-promised next installment I would be thrilled to sit through another couple hours with this stellar cast. Worth the coin if you don’t mind your brain running on autopilot for a bit.
“Scott Pilgrim vs. the World” is a cultural round-house kick to the gonads. While I will admit my street cred must take a second chop to the groin for never having witnessed director Edgar Wright’s BBC series “Spaced”, I place Pilgrim between the genius rising swell of “Hot Fuzz” and the “why in the hell did the third act get all lame and serious when the rest of it was awesome” “Shaun of the Dead” in terms of story—but leaps and bounds ahead in terms of importance to cinema. This is a master at work. Name drop any visionary directors, and I would put Wright on that list after this film. You don’t see this movie in theaters, and you are the same asshole who missed “Fight Club” the first time around. The music by long time Radiohead producer Nigel Godrich, the cinematography by “Matrix” and “Serenity” camera-lead Bill Pope, the songs by Beck, and an assembled cast that is having an infectious amount of fun make the movie practically a must-see. I am a big fan of nostalgia, and while there is love to be given to the video game aspect of the movie, the feelings I truly found stirred were those for college. Indy bands, confused love affairs, and an affinity for funny comrades are poured wholesale into your eyes and ears. I do think Michael Cera fails to live up to the source material’s promise, but he is not unlikable by any stretch. I further wish that the film was able to better come together, as somewhat of a “Lord of the Rings” scenario in adaptations comes about where we see a fantastically imaginative and pitch-perfect adaptation slowly unraveling to changes that are inexplicable later in the process. This film is every bit worth the money in your pocket, and for the life of me I can’t figure out why it didn’t make more this past weekend.
SC2 Ongoing Review #4: "The Shit Never Ends"
This is my final thought collection on the Starcraft II single player. It covers from mission 19 through the end of the game. Spoilers ahead.
Once upon a time, a marshal on a backwater planet found himself in the middle of an alien war. In order for his people to survive, he joined forces with a loose cannon revolutionary hellbent on taking out the leading faction of his race in the area in order to control it himself. The marshal fought alongside the madman until he found his allies to be betrayed, and genocide against his own species committed.
To all who read this review and whine that I’ve been too harsh on “SC2″ as it is only the first third of the game’s single player because of the split nature of the release, allow me to remind you the above story took all of a dozen missions to tell, and was the first third of “StarCraft”. It was more engaging, original, and iconic than anything found on display in the missions of “Wings of Liberty”; a sequel I never could have imagined being so dull and lifeless– I truly had to play it to believe it.Read More »
SC2 Ongoing Review #3: "Retcons and Reactions"
The following covers the middle third of the game—from about the first “choice”, just past the second choice, and all of the crystal-based campaign (for a total of 19 missions completed). Spoilers abound.
Well, the game was going pretty piss poorly for a bit there. The arrival of the Protoss triggered a choice in how to proceed, and I jumped at the chance to swear my allegiance to the noble race. I haven’t heard what happens if you try to protect the Zerg-infected Terran colonists, but I’m doubting they get cured, so it’s not a choice with which I hold any particular concern. I am curious how choices will play out in the later game, but I wonder if all roads will eventually converge no matter what. Read More »
SC2 Ongoing Review #2: "Fair and Balanced"
Part One here: https://savedbyatowel.com/chyrp/text/334
And let it be noted that the further this ongoing review goes, the more things will be spoiled.
When it was announced that “StarCraft II” would ship in three parts, there was an outcry that Blizzard was simply seeking to milk the fanbase across expansion packs, and that we would encounter a weaker single player experience for it. According to the missions zone of SC2, I’ve completed 9 out of 26 of the single player missions in “Wings of Liberty”, and while I don’t know if there are any bonus missions, I must say I’m feeling pretty screwed right about now. Read More »
SC2 Ongoing Review #1: "Hell... it's about time"
Well, it’s been over a year since anyone posted anything on the towel, but nothing gets you blogging again like new cultural experiences. So, before I post two-week old “Inception” reviews, let’s talk about some important shit– “StarCraft 2″. Now for me the first “StarCraft” is a touchstone. It represents a lost year of my youth– I remember seeing the game in a Scholastic Reader leaflet, ordering it, and then I woke up a year later. I was pastier, skinnier, and more cynical. After “Brood War” I eagerly awaited the day I might enact revenge on Sarah Kerrigan, and that day has finally, finally (maybe) arrived. So, enough with the small talk. Let’s get to a review. The way this will work is simple– I’m going to play the single player game, and as the days go by (at whatever pace I happen to play it) I will give updates and thoughts.
From the very instillation recap I am salivating. So exciting to be back in this world. Once the familiar opening cutscene (a slightly tweaked version of the teaser trailer from three years back) finishes, we’re off to the races for reasons that remain vague. Jim Raynor has apparently been spending some time drinking, but on this random day he decides to go attack some of his classic rival Mengsk’s installations. This would be alright if he wasn’t spurred by ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to make this attack– which apparently he has not been doing much in the “four years” that have lapsed in the storyline since “Brood War”. Then comes the first mission that doesn’t even involve building. It’s a simple affair of “walk the marines”, and it would take significant effort to fail the mission. My instant reaction is a dislike of the civilians. First, I am unable to click on and murder them (or any of the nearby animals), and secondly they move and act like the sort of NPC dredge found in “World of WarCraft”. Now, while I sunk a significant amount of time into WoW, and the game has many merits, I have no desire for goofy, arm-raising peasant to be part of my SC experience. So worry begins to set in.